Warren's Recommended Reading List :
The following text is all my opinion and waffle, feel free to disregard or disagree. I had a reasonably major setback in mid 2005 and have been interested in inner growth work since then (funny how it take some folks a big wake up call to look into their inner stuff).
Following is a growing list of books that I have found useful and enlightening, these have mostly come to me from people "in the know" in one way or another. These are all powerful books in their own rights. As with all powerful information there is sometimes a time and a place for each of these books, if I had tried to read The Heart Of The Soul (see below) a couple of years ago I may not have got past the first chapter or two. Please take the opportunity to look up the following books and explore them with an open mind and an open heart, take what you need and leave what you don't.
I learnt a while ago that no one resource or book can give me a whole picture, each can give me a perspective that I didn't have before. Many of the different concepts that I have discovered through books (and life) eventually seem to compliment and build on each other and add up to a greater whole inside my own head over time. Reading books does not make me an expert on anything, just a journeyman.
Remember that information is just information until you use use it, experience it, and learn from it, only then does it become knowledge, and later on it might become wisdom.
When reading any powerful book it is great to be able to discuss what you find with someone else who has read the same book, I find that sharing perspectives is invaluable when processing new concepts and ideas.
If you only ever buy or read just one book containing the ideas that psychologists use get this one, a real cornerstone book. Written as a dialogue between Robin Skynner and John Cleese, they make it very easy to "get" the concepts. It should be compulsory reading for everyone. While reading this book I could easily recognize myself, my entire family and everyone else I know. A good balance of head, heart and humor in this book.
This book is probably the most important and meaningful book that I have ever read (before "A New Earth", though these two compliment each other) , I found it very hard work to get through the first half and then impossible to put down for the second half (I have spoken to others who had the same experience so it wasn't just me). The first half outlines becoming aware of the links between our emotions and where we feel them in our bodies (tight in the throat, knots in the stomach etc) and then being able to use this information as a valuable feedback tool. Our bodies are constantly giving us messages, we tend to ignore them, the more the messages are ignored the more the body will crank them up until something breaks.
The second half of the book is the real paydirt and deals with what we see as negative behaviors and emotions such as, anger, being judgmental, being a workaholic, fundamentalism, addiction, etc. The book gives amazing insight into what might be underneath these seemingly less than desirable behaviors and points out that many of these visible issues are simply the "tip of the iceberg" and that more often than not the iceberg is built on fear. It is very hard to describe or do justice to the contents of this book in short. My advice is this, read "Families And How To Survive Them" first as it will give you some tools to enable you to read this book (or it did for me), then read this book and hang in there and keep going (even if you feel tempted to give up), once you get to the mid point you will hit paydirt big time. Once you "get into" the substance of this book it is all heart and truly liberating.
This is one of those rare books full of powerful concepts that just cant be reduced to a few lines of text, I think that it needs to be taken as a whole. To me it is a keystone book and contains wisdom above and beyond the normal fare. I am still processing it and no doubt will have to read it again and then maybe again. All I can say is that it is based on a concept of being fully present and identifying when ego is running the show. Awareness in real time is the key to releasing all old modes of behavior. It is not about suppression of any aspect of life but of being fully there and therefore fully accepting of where you are when you are there and of letting go of the crap when it happens.
Its very hard to snapshot this book as I think that you need the total concept of the book to get the snapshot. Eckhardt has also written another book which is called "The Power of Now", "A New Earth" was written to expand on those ideas and clarify them in a practical way. I suggest reading "A New Earth" before "The Power Of Now" as the books make more sense and have more power in that order.
Highly recommended, challenging, created many egoic reactions with me. Required reading in my opinion.
Another great book. Based on encouraging authentic virtues rather than the equally damaging approaches of false praise and criticism. A real eye opener and it rings true to me from beginning to end. Lots of heart. I have been sitting down with my kids, reading out and learning about a new virtue every week for the past couple of months (there are 52 virtues in the book), it hits a spot with them (and me) nearly every time.
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I have met many people who consider this a cornerstone book. I struggled with the first couple of pages and then hit paydirt almost immediately after that. The concepts all make sense and I can see another world through what I have read in this book. I cant really summarize this concept very well, all I can say is that if you long for a world where language is kind and concise and empowering and opens doors rather than closes them then this may be the book for you. There is a Non Violent Communication movement with a branch in Australia, which can be found at www.nvcaustralia.com
I have now done a "Compassionate Communication" course, this is basically the same work as NVC but is more evolved and with a smoother flow about it. Compassionate Communication practice seems more seamless and integrated to me. I must re read this book one day as the concepts are great now that I know more about them and accept the bits that I did not get the first time around.
A great intro to men's work and/or men's business. This book is intended for boys on the cusp of manhood though I think that there is something in it for every man, I read it at age 45 and still found it enormously useful. It briefly covers many themes that you will see expanded in other text and practices and so is excellent at providing an overview and a series of reference points. Some people may be offended by the crude way that the books starts (and I certainly found the approach unusual) but keep on reading because it all makes perfect sense later on in the book. A good balance of head and heart.
This book continues on from "Family's And How To Survive Them" and examines models for very healthy, mid range and unhealthy modes of operation and shows how they can work on an individual level, family level, business level, country level etc. While this book does stand alone it will make much more sense if read after "Families And How To Survive Them". Full of great gems and insight. Slightly hard work for the first half but then it pays off in the second half. This book is more head than heart, it is logical, and contains great information but it doesn't really go far on a heart level and the humor fails to fly as high as their earlier "Family's" book. This book should be compulsory reading for all politicians and business leaders (and everyone else for that matter) as the world would be a better place if this sort of information was commonplace.
Another "must read" for all men and women. I read this a while ago and have forgotten its core, I do remember that it was empowering and reassuring and a very worthy read. An uplifting book.
A very good read but one that I have not finished and so I cant comment properly on the book. The core of the book is that if we can live in the "now" then we become truly free. Many of us live in a state of being trapped by mind traffic, much ado about the past and much concern about the future and very little of being in the "now". If we simply learn to draw back and observe this mind traffic from a distance then we can become free from it. I may not have finished this book but I did "get" its core concept (I must get back to and finish this one, so many books, so little time). Lots of heart.
Update : I have now gone back and reread this book. This book is powerful, I don't think that I was ready for it the first time around, Eckhart really nails it in my opinion, its all there. My suggestion is that before you read this book read Eckhart's second book "A New Earth", this will give you a far greater understanding of the content of this book. Be prepared to have your ego challenged and your tree well and truly shaken. Both "A New Earth" and this book "The Power Of Now" contain concepts that need to be experienced rather than simply thought (intellectualized) about, take the challenge and "live it", its pain free to do and nearly reversible if you want to allow ego to rule once again.
Another good book. The content is great but I struggled with the way language is used and some of the concepts stayed out on a limb for too long for me, this caused me to labor through the pages fairly often. Some mighty important concepts hidden within, one that stands out was the statement that it is all well and fine to set an intention of a particular goal at one level of consciousness but if you have an unconscious intention or belief running the other way the result will be chaos. To me this reminds me that life is complex and silver bullet affirmation type fixes (as in "The Secret") wont always work. I think that Gary's other book, The Heart Of The Soul (see above), is more focused and accessible but that may be a matter of opinion.
"The Magician's Way" by William Whitecloud. This is a fantastic book if you are ready for it. Told as a rip roaring tale and full of more valuable insights of the "magic within" than you can poke a stick at. I reckon that this book woke me up and helped me find a new level to operate from. I have been gathering the tools for some time, this book helped me find the focus. Highly recommend for those who have done some (or a lot of) inner work first (in my opinion).
Another book with much to offer. It does contain a lot of "magical" leaps and these distracted me from the content quite a bit. It is fundamentally an autobiography of the author Dan Millman. He does not clarify where reality crosses into created story telling, the combination of this and "magical" leaps affected the way that I related to the content. Overall I rate it as a very good and important read as it contains much wisdom beneath.
If you have kids and particularly boys then read this book. This is a great insight into the world of men and boys written by a woman. It will be of particular interest to anyone who has teenagers. Celia spent time working and talking with students and teachers at 25 boys schools in New Zealand as part of the "Good Man Project", this book is the result.
This books kicks arse. What a relief to find a book on personalities that is so helpful, easy to grasp and open ended (when you see how it all works). I am about to read it for the second time. Also I have now discovered that at least a couple of councilors I know use it as a reference book.
This is a mighty fine book. Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth" could well be based on this book as they have a remarkably common base though are written in different styles and contain some different concepts. I found some of the concepts to be fixed and rigid at first and then I relaxed and found my way into the text. I consider this an important book to read and it compliments many of the other titles shown above. Based on releasing ego, feeling fear and doing it anyway, seeing possibilities and potential instead of problems, embracing the world as it is and developing compassion.
This book is full of much that is powerful and challenging, each section is short and to the point, it doesn't waste any time beating around the bush. Most of the ideas resonate with me at some deeper level and it gets into many of the issues that I can relate to as a man in relationship with the world. I do have some issues with the book. David uses the word "should" a lot, "should" is a manipulative word that is not common in "aware" works. Also the text doesn't seem fully developed in some areas and lacks a certain cohesion to me. Apart from my niggles the content really is something special and it joins the "must read" pile in my opinion.
I did a Byron Katie "The Work" weekend workshop with Rossie Beaton back in 2005 and got much out of it then. I just stumbled across this little "An Excerpt from Loving What Is" while cleaning up recently and read it again. Wow !!!! It hits the spot. "Loving What Is" is the same as being fully present and fully accepting of the Now, this is what all of the aware works that I have ever read say and here it is in a tiny little book and one that I acquired at the beginning of my conscious journey. This little book represents the gold that I have always been sitting on. I still have far to go and as far as I can tell the journey never really ends.
I have only just started reading this book and have not got very far yet and am finding the reading a bit dense. It looks to be a very insightful book and follows the theme that we humans have many different stages of life to transgress before we fully mature and that we as a society often get stuck in one of the early ones. It is based on the concept of a developmental Wheel Of Life that looks like a wheel at the level that we live on but is in fact a gentle spiral when viewed over a few generations. I have enjoyed it so far and it is quite a different book from most of the others that I have read to date.
Update : I had to give up reading this book, I found that while it contains much that is useful and I gained many insights from the text I have found it just too dense for me to continue with.
This book is insightful and interestingly it ties in with the book "Nature And The Human Soul" (mentioned above). It is based on the idea that as a whole we humans are stuck in an immature "sibling" part of our life cycle. Signs of the "sibling society" include our (as a whole) addiction to consumer culture, refusal to take responsibility and our tendencies to use guilt and blame for self and others rather than acceptance and compassion. I found that the book tended to repeat its message a lot but in between the repetition was a great deal of insight. A real gem in this book is the way that Robert Bligh presents, interprets and unravels the meanings behind (the original versions of) several mythological stories (Jack and The Beanstalk being one that springs to mind). Overall I found this book hard work but worthwhile.
Now here is an interesting DVD. In the style of "The Secret" but an entirely different kettle of fish, in fact they pose the question "what if there is no secret ?". There are some bits of this presentation that I think could have been tightened up or clarified and some sections where the speakers stumble or are ambiguous (to me anyhow). It does contain much gold and has much that is great and much that is empowering.
One point that I think that they make very well is the question "what if you were the only living human ?", they then go on to pose the concept that our experience as humans is all about relationship with other humans. If you have the opportunity, watch this DVD.
This is a different concept to the Wheel of Life as presented in Bill Plotkin's book "Nature And The Human Soul" (listed above). The "wheel of life" in this DVD refers to a way to approach daily living, whereas Bill Plotkin's "wheel of life" is about life time developmental stages.
This is a great movie and is based on the book "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. The film makers have deviated from the book in many ways but in my opinion all of the deviations work and make it into a better and more believable movie. If you are aware of being on your own personal journey then this movie will probably speak to you. Many of the key concepts of "inner work" are contained within this movie. This really is a "must see" in my opinion.
Update : I have become a bit addicted to this movie, I have now watched it many times in company and alone, while I think that it has some flaws I always seem to find another little gem hidden within on each subsequent viewing.
Another good book from Gary Zukav. The first half presents many of the ideas already covered in his earlier books, the second half is presented as a question and answer session. I found that this book was largely a reminder of some of the great concepts that I had found in his earlier books, but without the depth and insights that I found in the earlier works. It also reminded me of the bits where I find Gary a little too locked onto a particular train of thought (this is "how it is" thinking, rather than this is "how I see it" thinking). Don't get me wrong, I think that Gary Zukav is a great resource but I don't find him as universal in his approach as I find Eckhart Tolle to be. A couple of things that stand out in this book, Gary states that every interaction between two humans is a meeting between souls (soul mates are everywhere) and that trashing one relationship in the hope of fixing (or avoiding) stuff in the next relationship is destructive to all of your relationships, he is very much a proponent of opening deeper communication within existing relationships and seeing where it can go. My favorite Gary Zukav book is "The Heart Of The Soul" which he co-authored with his partner Linda Francis. Overall, this current book is a worthy and important read.
Whew, this book was first published in 1992 and it still stands up well today. This book starts out with a great deal of balance and is inclusive of all involved, regardless of gender or family position (mother, daughter, father, son). It gives quite amazing insights into the types of fathers and types of daughters while still keeping sons and mothers in the picture. Speaking as a man in the second half of my life I now know the great the impact that my father had (and possibly still has) in my life, I had not really considered the impact that fathers have on daughters (who become the women and mothers of the next generation). This is the sort of book that should be compulsory reading for all men and all women as it is intended as a catalyst for growth for all concerned. I found this to be a well researched and well written book though it could contain more heart than it does. I think that this is an important book and well worth a read, preferably before your current or future relationship runs off the rails.
All can say is wow !!! This is a great follow up companion to the book The Way Of The Peaceful Warrior. It is clear from this current writing that Dan Millman has matured and grown a great deal in the 25 years since Peaceful Warrior was first published. He gives some great insights into the original text and has a way of presenting his insights in ways that seem to contain lots of universal truth. A timeless companion to a timeless original in my opinion.
Another olde but goodie, so I am told. I have now met a bunch of people who have read and worked with this book. It sounds like a real cornerstone sort of beasty and I am looking forward to reading it soon.
I have only read a chapter or two, it is a really solid concept so far. It is based on the idea that men and women are essentially different and are motivated by different things. According to the book, women want and thrive on unconditional love and men want and thrive on unconditional respect. Problems occur when the love/respect cycle is broken, then the result is a version of "The Crazy Cycle" (see below). It makes sense to me and fits with other things that I have observed, experienced and read.
The key concept in the book "Love & Respect" (see above). Note how it works : without love, she reacts without respect - without respect, he reacts without love - without love ............... and so on in an endless crazy cycle.
This is a great book. The concept is that there are essentially five ways that we can express or receive love and that these ways are different from each other. I may be expressing love in one way and if my partner's love language is different then she/he may not receive the gift that I offer, and visa versa. So it is important to figure out the other persons love language and practice speaking it (and visa versa). This book is different to but seems to perfectly compliment "Love & Respect" above.
I have heard that this is good, have not read it yet
